Understanding Ourselves Sexually
We’re all curious about sex.
To be comfortable with ourselves sexually, we must understand our own bodies.
To be comfortable with a partner sexually, we should understand their bodies, respect their sexual feelings and behave appropriately.
How we learn about sex has a direct effect on our ability to be comfortable and confident with it.
When we are little we are curious about WHAT sex is.
We have no idea that we are asking about sex when we ask where a new baby brother or sister comes from ... and it doesn't matter. We are fascinated to learn that we grow inside our mother.
We gradually discover that couples have something called sex to have a baby. Initially, we don't know what that means, but we’re intrigued. Our intrigue is satisfied by learning how men and women are different, specifically to make a new human, and that they have sex to make it happen.
Everything changes at puberty.
Curiosity turns to stark reality as our bodies start changing and we develop into young adults. Our first experiences of our developing sexual bodies can be a shock if we are not properly prepared.
We barely come to terms with our new bodies when we start to get feelings of attraction and arousal. The feelings can be overwhelming and it's appropriate that we are prepared for them.
From here on, we are curiosity about HOW we have sex.
Fortunately our curiosity synchronises with ability to comprehend, which is just as well with sexual feelings - it's impossible to imagine what sexual arousal feels like until we experience it ourselves.
This is a steep learning curve. It would be crazy to leave it to chance and compromise being comfortable with ourselves sexually.
Personal sexual awareness and confidence is just half of the equation. The decision to engage in sexual activity is shared, with huge ramifications. A young woman may get pregnant. It is essential that we understand the implications and know how to behave and respect one another before experimenting with sexual encounters.
Our books guide you through this whole process, helping you come to terms with your bodies, and your sexuality, and helping you prepare for your adult sexual life.
(It can still be confusing. It makes sense to have a trusted adult to confide in, to discuss questions and concerns that inevitable arise. Your parents are a sensible place to start.)
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